From memories to lessons

Earlier this week, Mr. Bear and I were in the kitchen drinking our green juice and taking vitamins. Suddenly, he said something “by May”, I abruptly interrupted his thought and confidently said, “We’ll get it before May”. He seemed confused and amused and asked “What was I going to say”, and I responded with “By May, you’d like to get AG1”. He stared at me with a wide look and said “Get out of my head, how is that possible?”. I laughed it off and had perfectly logical reasons as to how I knew what he would say. First, we have been talking about AG1 on/off for the last 6 months, and second, we were drinking green juice (AG1 is a green supplement). My brain tapped into the inference and there it was, a logical explanation. 

Later that same day, I went to pick up the Mr. at work and a few hours before I left the house, I had a persistent thought – “make sure you take an energy drink for him”. I thought the same thought about 3 times, which was odd. When I left the house, I took the energy drink with me, and when I picked him up, he gave me the same confused and amused look and said “what is going on today – I was just thinking about stopping at 7-Eleven for one of these”. I again laughed it off and went back to a rational explanation. That day we had woken up at about 4:45am to go to the gym and then continued with our day – if I needed a little pick me up, I am sure he also needed one. Case solved, rationale reached. 

Today, Mr. Bear called me as he usually does every mid-morning. As soon as I answered, I heard the thought “raise”, I very rudely interrupted him and asked, “Did you get a raise?”. His response was an automatic “What the fuck?”. I was thrown off by his response but chose to repeat the question. He immediately said, “Yes, I did”. We both proceeded to geek out for the next 5 minutes because how? 

Once we hung up, I took a minute to process and realized a few things: 

First, alignment with self and others is non-rational. We are so used to explaining the why and how of things that sometimes we forget to rejoice in the what is for whatever it is. 

Also, I realized that today, I heard the thought – I didn’t think it, I heard it. Though I can’t quite explain this yet, I am sure the answer will come – it always does. 

Finally, as long as we are walking on our path while respecting others and their paths, we become more focused walkers. Let me explain – I am more spiritual than religious and I still work in a faith-based recovery program counseling men. During sessions, we dive deep into topics of faith and what they conceive God to be. Not being able to recognize or hear God/their higher power’s voice is a recurring theme in most of the sessions. While I emphasize that their relationship with their higher power is very personal, I always assure them that they are being guided by thoughts, feelings and recurring events and the most important thing about this reassurance is that I do believe we are all being guided and everything happens for us, not necessarily to us. 

Through my work and my work with others, I feel like I am re-learning how to listen. We are all able to relearn as long as we remain open. Signing off feeling grateful and in awe♥ 

Seshat